Dear T Riders of Boston,

Here are some rules of etiquette for you:

-Do not set gigantic bags on the floor right by the door, causing people to trip over it and each other (literally), especially during rush hour.

-Do not stand in front of an empty seat. And don’t give me a dirty look when I say, “Excuse me,” and move to sit in it. You can give up your right to sit, and I respect that, but don’t infringe upon my right to take the seat you didn’t want.

-Do not block an empty seat in any other way. If you’re on one of the older green line trains, do not sit in the aisle seat and refuse to move over when you see me standing near you. Do not sit in the aisle seat and put your stuff on the empty seat next to you. If you’re in any seat on any line, don’t take up two seats, either with your body or your stuff.

-For the love of God, do not put your feet on an empty seat.

-Don’t be a college student. Not only do you annoy me with your loud chatter and inane conversation, but you make me realize a.) that I must have sounded exactly like that a couple of years ago, and b.) that I’m officially OLD if I’m at the point where college students annoy me.

That is all.

Love,
Katie

P.S. Well, not quite. I should mentiont that not all of you suck. Some of you are quite friendly, and some of you actually have interesting conversations that I like to listen in on. Like the guy I once sat next to and the woman he knew who walked over and started talking to him, whereupon I discovered that they were both actors in musicals. I’ve since seen the woman a few more times on the T (apparently, we have the same schedule), and one time she was mouthing the words on the sheet music she was looking at.

P.P.S. Oh, yeah, and if you’re a T driver, could you try not to slam the door on me (literally , close the doors with me stuck in between them) like you did last Monday? Thanks.